Friday, January 1, 2010

a new year

i wrote the following in my agenda last year, on new year's day:

this day should not be in the calendar. it is a non-day. most of it is wasted in bed, and the rest on the couch, vegging out.
i woke up around noon, slight hangover from the festivities of the night before, but nothing major. i woke up to a peaceful town. not a sound outside but for a couple pigeons pecking at some leftovers spilling from the morning trash.
and in my half-awakened slumber, i thanked god for this peace. a short silent prayer. no sounds, no bombs, no fears, no distress.
and the lingering hangover became a joy, a blessing, for it meant that we still lived in fat times, and we still could enjoy our leasurely life, albeit poor. and i smiled, alone in the street, for i realized that sometimes it doesn't take much to make you feel blessed.

this year again i woke up very very late with a slight hangover. and this year too i am glad to still be alive and well. but i woke up with a kind of funk. i have an eerie feeling about this coming year. everyone around has cursed 2009 - for me it was a rather quiet year, nothing exceptional at all. i can't say 2009 was bad. but i am afraid of 2010 and i don't know why.